(Los Angeles, CA / February 11, 2025) – Tiffany Chan, Ed.D., takes a powerful stand against the relentless tattoo shaming she experiences from men who feel entitled to comment on her body in a new Tiffany’s Secret Diary post, “You’re So Pretty… But Your Tattoos Ruin You”.
The popular sexologist, writer, designer and content creator spills her thoughts on the constant commentary on her skin art, saying, “I don’t remember the first time a man told me that my tattoos made me ugly. What I do remember is how it made me feel—like a slap, like a stranger reaching through the screen and pulling at my skin, trying to peel away something they didn’t approve of.”
For Chan, tattoos are more than decoration; they are personal markers of triumph, loss and identity. Each piece of ink tells a story—of family, of resilience, of passions that run deep. “Every tattoo I have represents a pivotal moment in my life,” she explains. “Some mark the loss of loved ones, a way of carrying them with me always. Others are symbols of my strength—pieces I got after overcoming personal struggles, reminders of the resilience I’ve cultivated over the years.”
Yet, despite the deeply personal meaning behind her tattoos, a vocal subset of men—never women, Chan notes—consistently tell her she has “ruined” herself. “It wasn’t just that they were criticizing my tattoos; it was the entitlement, the casual authority with which they spoke. As if my body should exist for their viewing pleasure, unaltered, pristine, pleasing to their particular tastes,” she writes.
In a social media era where access breeds unsolicited opinions, Chan calls out the deeper issue at play: control. “Social media gives them access, a direct line to say things they would never have the audacity to say to my face. But while my content is public, my consent to being body-shamed is not.” She draws a sharp connection between tattoo shaming and broader body shaming, where women’s choices—from weight to makeup to clothing—are constantly scrutinized under the male gaze.
Chan has long since stopped engaging with these comments in a way that gives them power, but that doesn’t mean she’s staying silent. “I no longer let it affect me, but I also no longer allow it to go unchecked. I call it what it is—body shaming. I remind others that a woman’s body does not exist for public critique.”
With this article, Chan reclaims her narrative, making one thing abundantly clear: her tattoos are hers, and hers alone. “To the men who feel compelled to tell me that I would be more beautiful without my tattoos, I say this: your approval was never the goal. My body is not a canvas for your desires—it is a canvas for MINE.”
To read Tiffany Chan’s Secret Diary post in full, visit Lovekipani.substack.com.
Learn more about Tiffany Chan at TiffanyChanOfficial.com and her links via lovekipani.com, and follow her on X: @lovekipani.
ABOUT TIFFANY CHAN, Ed.D., CSE, MFA:
Tiffany Chan, also known as Dr. K or Kipani Heart, seamlessly blends her creative passions with a deep commitment to holistic sexual education. Based in Los Angeles, Dr. K is a Board-Certified Sexologist and Intimacy Consultant specializing in kink education, D/s dynamics, and holistic living, as well as popular model and influencer. She holds a Doctorate in Education, a Master’s in English Literature, and advanced certifications in sexology, making her approach to intimacy and empowerment both uniquely informed and empathetic.
Chan’s academic background is complemented by her experience as a creative writer, digital content creator, and certified fitness trainer. She has published work in scholarly journals such as American Popular Culture and Men’s Health and is actively involved in research with The Alternative Sexual Health Research Alliance (TASHRA). As the host of the popular podcast The Submissive Next Door, Chan delves into diverse topics ranging from BDSM to consent and alternative lifestyles, sharing eye-opening insights with her guests.
Chan is also the founder and editor of Artistic Edge Magazine, where she merges her love for the arts with her dedication to sexual education. A staunch advocate for diversity, inclusion and informed consent, she is a member of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) and the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (SSSS). She is a recognized leader in the alternative lifestyle community as well, offering workshops and consultations that empower individuals to explore their identities in safe, consensual environments.
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